I know that you are mad at me. And you should be. But stella, knowing that I wont be able to provide you the touch that will make me happy, you happy, I had to walk out. Everytime we were together, it felt like hours with you. I was always on top of the world with you. But you know what, that cue stick literally poked me in my heart. It always reminded me that I'm not made for you. Stella, when I heared that you had new lungs waiting for you, I was the happiest man alive. I knew that I haven't got much time left. But you girl, you were a fighter and seeing your hopes getting fulfilled were my best moments. I always had a carefree attitude towards life. I somewhat knew that I am gonna die someday around. But when I met you, when I fell for you, I gained hope. I wanted to live. I wanted to live for you. Hey, by the way, are your new lungs pumping the air fine? Ok! That was a poor joke. Stella, I had to walk away, not because you are gonna live and I was gonna die, because I wanted to see you happy. I knew that being with me, you'll be losing hope in life day by day, seeing me in the miserable condition I was in. Knowing that each of my breath could be my last, it would not have killed me but it certainly would have made you hate life. Stella, you know I never feared death. I always thought of seeing death in eyes and saying "take me". But when you were drowning in the lake I feared death. I feared the thought of losing you. Eventually I lost you. But it was my choice. Stella, I stole that cue stick. That reminds me of you. We weren't apart in reality. Those five feet signified how much we loved each other. Stella, you were the one who gave me hope. You know we were always at " Five feet apart". But even at being "Five feet apart" You are the one Stella. You made me love you. I still love you.
Well, I'll be dead the time you are reading this. But I hope that you forgive me. And I know that you'll never forget me. I always loved you Stella. Even in death.
Yours and only yours,
Will Newman. ©Yasmin